Reflective Practice

So to people outside of the field of Student Affairs, I sometimes have a difficult time helping them understand what it is that I do on a daily basis.  Why I end up working late hours.  Why I don’t mind giving up my weekend to go on a retreat with a bunch of 18-22 year olds.  Post-ACPA, I have had a resurgence of motivation about my chosen profession.  I think a lot of us get those “Post-Conference” highs where we want to come back and make changes to do an even better job in our current positions.  High aspirations abound and our “to-do lists” (at least for those of us that are “J’s”) double or triple with our new thoughts and ideas.  But beyond that, what kind of person is the “Real” Student Affairs Professional.  So, I’ve tried to figure that out, and I’ll use myself as an example as I progress through this blog post.  (I will also include photos when able.)

First of all, if that saying “You are what you eat” really did apply, I would currently be a purple frosting cupcake.  That is currently going to be my breakfast this morning, courtesy of my awesome GA – @BeccaFick (for those of you on Twitter) – I haven’t eaten it yet, I’m waiting until after I finish this blog post to enjoy the yumminess that will be that cupcake.

But if I took the saying literally, I’d say we are creative people no matter what our specialized area may be.  And we’re humble.  We don’t need to be a whole cake.  We don’t need to have a lot of flair and frosting.  (although, those delightful paper wrappers at the bottom can be very colorful at times.)  But we tend to be the glue that holds things together for our students.  Not that there is glue in the cupcake (thank goodness) but ever try to eat a piece of cake with your fingers? Doesn’t stick together as well as the cupcake.

We look for inspiration in the most unusual places. Like a Gandhi doll.

We all need to be accessible – or at least have access to our email & Twitter accounts – therefore we all have smart phones.

We sometimes have to teach about the more awkward topics – like STI’s – (Herpes courtesy of the Harvard Bookstore)

We have moments when we probably realize how we don’t always make the big bucks – but somehow the difference we are making in the lives of students is completely worth it.  Even in the moments where you spend time searching your desk and counting the pennies in your drawer to see if you had 100 pennies in order to get a coffee refill that costs $1.00.  No?  That was just me? oh….

But you have those moments where a student stops in your office and sits in a chair to get your advice.  And even when sometimes you are on a deadline, you stop what you are doing, turn away from your computer for a few moments (yes even I turn away from my computer) and you take the time to listen.

You critique the resumes, even if you don’t work in Career Services.

You help calm the stressors and relationship issues and class pressures, even if you don’t work in the Counseling Center.

You remind them to not wear athletic socks to interviews, even when you are not their parent.

You dance it out in the office, not because you need it, but they need it. (ok, sometimes I really need it.)

And at the end of the day (mine usually later than others at times) you are tired, but for some reason, you don’t seem to mind anymore.  Because when you look at your students, when you’ve seen how they have grown, when you see what they have learned come to fruition as they become “adults” – that’s the part that matters.

So even when you have the students that annoy you, or don’t know how to send mature emails, and constantly make bad choices – I know we all stop still and say – how can I help them learn?

We never stop educating.

So while I’m sure there are many other things I could have included, I have a cupcake waiting, as well as a massive to do list. Enjoy.

I’m currently on an Alternative Spring Break trip with an amazing group of students.  I have been with them for 4 days now it and it has been one of the best experiences of my life.  Of the 9 students I am with, I only knew one of them pretty well from her experience on my Orientation Staff last summer.  So I’ve been immersing myself in this group, slowly getting to know then during our weekly group meetings prior to the trip.  One of the students in the group was causing some difficulty in the time leading up to the trip.  His attitude and behaviors were making the rest of the group feel a bit uncomfortable.  Some more than others of course, but it was an issue we intervened on, unfortunately a bit too late to see if there was a real change prior to leaving.  We kept the student on the trip, really hoping for the best.  I’ve found through these past four days that there are definitely some pros and cons to that decision.  He’s definitely a hard worker, but can be controlling.  He loves to work with the kids at the Boys & Girls club, but has lied to get to work with certain age groups rather than give everyone a fair opportunity.  I’ve been working with the site leader on trying to come up with a way to confront him, but I really wanted her to make the decision and not me.  She has really been the one running this program and I have felt that my role is just one who advises and is there to support her and the rest of the group when needed.  It’s not necessarily my group to control.

So as I was laying in my bunk trying to fall asleep, I overhear another group that we are sharing the bunkhouse with, laughing and making fun of him.  This instantly frustrated me.  I know that we’ve had issues in our own group and their frustrations with him and talking about him with other group members, but in this moment, I felt it was extremely wrong for this group leader to engage in conversation with his students, about my student.  Especially in a way that I felt was degrading to a kid that is really just trying to figure out who he is and where he fits in.  So I confronted the group leader about the situation.  He immediately stated it wasn’t in any way that meant harm and that they appreciated him, but I still felt that some of what they were doing was unfair.

I texted a friend and colleague afterwards and asked why I did that.  I mean, I had my own frustrations with this kid, but yet here I was defending him to a group of strangers.  He told me it was because I was a good person and that it was the right thing to do.  He said he was proud of me.  It’s in those situations that I’m glad I have that reinforcement of doing something right.  It’s those situations as a student affairs professional that for some reason makes me recognize that perhaps I am doing something good.    I mean, I know I do a good job, but laying in my bed I went back and forth wondering whether or not I should actually say something.  But I guess the better part of me won over.  Which is a good thing.